Had supper alone, yet again tonight.
As recent as last Wednesday, and almost all of the first half of the year, those seats in front of me, would have been filled. And we couldn't even eat indoors due to the number of people present (also due to their preference). We chatted and laughed loudly like the people who were studying up there wasn't our business.
My morale and spirit has hit an all time low since coming to KTT. Sorry to say that the trip to Alamanda yesterday triggered it. It was like been hit with an overwhelming power surge of depression, being to a place where I shared so many fond memories of them. I fear I might never want to step into Alamanda ever again to spare myself another heartbreak.
Just wondering, is this how someone who still has attachment to the other feels after a breakup? I felt like I just broke up, yet I've never been in a relationship before.
They're all leaving in less than a month. I think I'm even more nervous for their departure than they are. I'm gonna send them off for sure, like my life depends on it.
Never have I ever wished that time passes by as fast as possible, so I can just get back to my loving home and not worry or fuss about about a thing.
Fucked up my midsem. Less than 60 for both chemistry and physics. Not optimistic for biology. Prep is imminent. This does nothing to help my mood and inferiority complex. It seems like I can't go as far in my studies without Tim's help.
Feels like I'm being tied to a rock. My breathing patterns are getting irregular. Sighing every minute or so.
God, I'm getting more and more tired as time passes on. I pray you give me the strength to finish this. All things through Phil 4:13.
Well, time to finish that roti and teh ais, alone or not.
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